Personality

oops… technical difficulties… did not intend for this one to disappear, however ill-advised it might have been, lol…

This… probably wasn't a good idea…

I took a personality test on your behalf. I wish I knew you better than I do. Some of the questions were easy… some, not so much. Some I kinda punted on some, scoring toward the middle, skewed in the general direction I think.

Putting it here probably isn't a good idea, either, since all I'll prooooobably do is demonstrate that I still don't know you all that well. But you know what, ⭐️? I know I don't. But I want to. More than anything else in this world, I want to know you. Know this: when you read this, it is my current understanding of you, but I am always refining my understanding of you, so even if I'm so wrong… That just means there's more for me to learn about you. And I have never and will never tire of learning more about you. I want to know everything.

So. Let's see how I did today. Sticking with 16personalities.com, since I liked it so well when doing my own… I won't be going into as much detail as I did with mine, since my confidence level is so low. But you know… I'd love nothing more than to build that confidence level, by getting to know you better. And better. And better. And better.

Well… here goes…

ENFJ — The Protagonist

I mean, even their name for it sounds spot on to me, lol. But… let's dig in some more…

Thoughtful and idealistic, these personality types strive to have a positive impact on other people and the world around them.

So far, so dead-on… At least as it appears from the outside.

Few things bring Protagonists a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment than guiding friends and loved ones to grow into their best selves.

Sounds right to me. Isn't that part of why you love your job?

Even when they disagree with someone, Protagonists search for common ground.

I haven't had a disagreement with you yet, but this seems likely enough.

Protagonists have strong opinions, but they’re far from closed-minded.

Sounds right.

I started working through the “Strengths” and ended up copying basically the entire section because: Yes, All Of That. But, here, to summarize: Receptive, Reliable, Passionate, Altruistic, Charismatic. All of those, no question.

The weaknesses… hmmm…

Unrealistic — Many Protagonists put pressure on themselves to right every wrong that they encounter.

I'm not sure on this one, but… maybe. I could see it.

Overly Idealistic — Protagonists tend to have clear ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong.

Well, you are a self-proclaimed stickler for the rules. 🤷‍♂️

Condescending … Protagonists’ attempts to “enlighten” others may come across as patronizing — not the most effective strategy for persuading other people, unfortunately.

If this is true, I haven't seen it yet.

Intense — When it comes to self-improvement, Protagonists are rarely short on energy or determination.

I mean, yes, this one seems dead-on. Not sure why it's a weakness, though… Oh wait, there's more…

But they may not recognize that not everyone shares these qualities. At times, Protagonists may push others to make changes that they aren’t ready for — or simply aren’t interested in making in the first place.

Hmmmmmm… maybe.

Overly Empathetic — Compassion is among this personality type’s greatest strengths. But Protagonists have a tendency to take on other people’s problems as their own — a habit that can leave them emotionally and physically exhausted.

I don't know for sure, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me. Your empathetic nature was one of the first things that drew me to you, ages and ages ago…

Oh! Time for the fun section… Romantic Relationships…

Protagonists (ENFJs) can be intense when it comes to matters of the heart — and they wouldn’t have it any other way. People with this personality type rarely settle for anything that falls short of their ideals, and their romantic relationships are no exception.

Soooo… If I got this right, that means I'll need to stay on my toes, right? Lol. I hope I never disappoint you, ⭐️. But I'm sure I probably will sometimes. But I will always do my best to pick things back up. That'll be true even if I completely flubbed this test…

Protagonists want to fall in love with the content of a person’s character and the tenor of their soul — not just the way they look from across the room.

Well, fwiw, I have 100% fallen in love with the content of your character and the tenor of your soul, and I would definitely still love you even if you weren't the absolute most beautiful woman to have ever lived.

Anyways, I do suspect this is true of you, too. I'm pretty sure you love me. My body is just the vessel which happens to carry me.

Their standards are high, and they know it.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

In fact, this awareness might give Protagonists a deeper appreciation of just how rare and precious it is to feel a real spark with another person — and, in turn, just how rare and special it is when that spark grows into the steady flames of true, abiding love.

Gosh. If this is true…

When Protagonists fall for someone, they tend to fall hard — and they’re not coy about it. Protagonists are among the personality types that most readily express how they feel, so they often find themselves making the first move, rather than playing games or waiting for reassurance that the other person feels the same way.

I was talking to a friend about this recently. I'm about 95% sure the only reason there's ever been any lack of clarity for me is because of our situation. I suspect that, if you were free to, you would not wait for me, but would be at my door.

People with the Protagonist personality type are eager to prove their commitment, taking the time and effort to establish themselves as dependable, trustworthy partners.

FWIW you have already demonstrated this to me.

Few personality types are keener than Protagonists to establish a loving commitment with their chosen partner.

FWIW, I've had my eye on the long term since the day that I flipped and realized that my crush on you was no longer just a cute little crush.

Protagonists care about pleasing their partner, and their sensitivity helps them tune in to their partner’s shifting moods and desires.

I suspect this is true.

… they are anything but apathetic about friendship. Protagonists put sincere, dedicated effort into staying close with their friends.

This also rings true.

For Protagonists, discovering someone’s quirks and opinions and hopes and follies is one of life’s purest pleasures.

I've said before and I'll say again, you seem to be so good at picking at my brain… You seem to have a never-ending supply of questions to ask me. You are so much better at that than I am, lol. I want to know everything about you, but you get to asking me questions and your interest draws me in so very, very thoroughly… and you don't just ask, you listen to the answers…

…they find it easiest to connect with people who share their core ideals, particularly their commitment to doing the right thing and leaving the world better than they found it.

It me! Or… at least… I try!

These personalities maintain warm, caring, and supportive connections with many people…

So, so very many people. I am never not amazed by the number of people you seem to know. And you seem to actually know them.

You'll probably be unsurprised to learn that this is very foreign to me. But I love it about you.

(hint: I love everything about you)

…but they tend to show their full selves — including their insecurities — only to an inner circle of friends who have earned their trust.

Hmmmmm… is this part of why only your “inner circle” gets to see your inner nerd?

Protagonists can be among the best friends anyone could wish for. Kindhearted and trustworthy, people with this personality type dedicate incredible amounts of energy and attention to their friendships. They want their friends to feel not merely validated but supported, not merely heard but understood.

Ok. I know I've nailed your personality type now. My confidence has been increasing as I've worked through this, but this paragraph right here… That's it. That's the one. This is you, through and through.

Protagonists strive to create a loving, encouraging, and supportive home life for their children.

It you, for sure.

Protagonists want to make sure that their children do the right thing out of understanding, not blind obedience.

This feels true to me.

Fortunately, these idealistic, good-natured parents can explain the difference between right and wrong in ways that uplift and inspire their children.

I have no doubt whatsoever that this is true.

When it comes to choosing a career, Protagonists (ENFJs) find fulfillment in doing what they love most — helping other people.

I mean. Your career has taken a couple of turns, but this theme has been constant.

Many people with this personality type gravitate toward careers with an altruistic bent, such as social work, teaching, counseling, coaching, health care, or public interest law.

See!

They intuitively pick up on the needs of their clients or customers, and then they draw on their creativity to meet these needs in innovative, unexpected ways.

I don't know for sure, but I have got to guess that this is true. This seems so you.

…they are generally likable and good-natured…

You, in a nutshell.

("no, this is me in a nutshell… Help! I'm in a nutshell!"………… sorry, lol)

Perceptive and dedicated, people with this personality type can take on multiple responsibilities with competence and good cheer.

WRT your work, I can only guess. But this seems very likely.

Soooooo… How did I do? I went into this not really having very much confidence, but having read through all of that… Maybe you aren't ENFJ, but I wouldn't be too surprised if you were ENFJ-adjacent. This sounded a lot like you, to me.

So.

What happens when you put an ENFJ with an INFP?

(And yes, I know I shouldn't go here since I don't even know if I'm right for yours… but this whole entire exercise was suspect from the outset, soooooo here we go anyways!)

From personalitytests.com:

When ENFJ and INFP personality types join together, they create relationships built on harmony and deep trust. Because they are both Intuitive Feelers (NF), these two are equally committed to creating connections that build up both people.

Sounds very promising.

Once these two idealists meet, the INFP and ENFJ will be inseparable.

I mean.

Having an immediate emotional connection with one another, their chemistry is instantaneous and grows stronger the longer they are together.

I mean.

All-around solid relationships and connections that last longer than other personality type pairings.

🥰

Overall, INFP and ENFJ are likely to be one of the best personality combinations that can come together in friendship and romance.

Oh, fuck yeah, ⭐️! We're the BEST. I mean, I already knew it, but now the internet is telling me so!

Once these two come together as a couple, expect them to discuss anything and everything that is on their minds, knowing it is open communication that lets small problems get solved before they turn into major difficulties.

My god, more than half of my dreams about you are just about being able to talk to you openly and freely about anything at all.

ENFJ’s energy level is much higher than INFP can always handle

Sadly, very possibly true, lol. But I'll do my best!

Although their chemistry is great from the beginning, each wants to take some time to get to know the other person before making what they feel is an important commitment.

Like… Twelve years?

Ok, I mean, a big part of that is that we've never actually been available to each other… But still.

However, once Cupid’s arrow hits its mark, expect this couple to have plenty of intimate candlelight dinners as their romance blossoms.

I am going to take you to so many romantic candlelight dinners. And concerts. Just as soon as I can.

Uh-oh, it's not all paradise, though…

INFP is very sensitive to rejection and can sometimes take things the wrong way.

……………yeeeeah, sorry. I think you already know this is true sometimes.

ENFJ is naturally neat, while INFP is naturally messy.

Lol. Long, loooooong before taking this test today I suspected this may be the biggest source of conflict between us, 😂. I love you so damned much though, ⭐️, that I will try my absolute best to overcome my messy nature and help you keep a clean house, I promise.

Both may avoid confrontations over little differences, which can result in larger arguments that damage strong relationships.

I do think we both avoid conflict, so yeah I could see this. But I have absolute faith in our ability to work through anything. I mean, if we manage to get together then we will have already passed through the crucible.

The INFP has extremely high standards for its potential partners, which can make it hard for the ENFJ to live up to their expectations constantly.

I do have high standards for you. Standards you have already exceeded in every way shape or form. You will never disappoint me, ⭐️, and you do not have to work to live up my expectations. You exceed them just by being you.

One great part of this couple’s strong relationship is that the INFP and ENFJ both know how to communicate their thoughts and feelings to one another and do so on a regular basis.

This rings true to me.

In fact, it’s not unusual for this couple to have in-depth conversations at the dinner table each night, knowing this allows them to tackle any problems that may be on the horizon.

I spend all day every single day of my life imagining conversations with you. So. Yeah, I can see this.

Along with these conversations, an ENFJ needs lots of verbal displays of affection, meaning that an “I love you” from their INFP partner now and then will go a long way.

Think we're set here. I will never stop telling you that I love you every single chance I get. I love you, ⭐️. I love you.

Determined to meet their partner where they are within the relationship, the INFP may have trouble articulating their feelings now and then.

Only the negative ones. Which is something I need to work on in general.

At times, an INFP may feel smothered by all the attention they are receiving from ENFJ.

Ok, now I think I need to go and retake mine. There's just not a chance in hell of this being true. Not a chance. You can't possibly give me enough attention.

Well, these things aren't perfect so 🤷‍♂️

As an introverted feeling type, the INFP may want to stay home and relax while the ENFJ is making plans and telling them how much fun there is to be had at a local festival or gathering with friends.

I can see this, but… not right away. Not even soon, probably. Maybe not even ever. I just imagine going out with you being so much fun.

These two connect on both an emotional and intellectual level.

You are my favorite person in the whole entire world to talk to. By, like… a lot. So. Yeah.

For an ENFJ, it’s all about not only finding an INFP they can love for the rest of their lives but also being allowed to express their affection whenever they wish.

For the record, if you really are an ENFJ (and even if you aren't), you will be welcome to express your affection whenever and however you wish. I can't even imagine a situation where I'd think it's too much, too embarrassing, or whatever. Tell me you love me in front of the whole entire world and my heart will melt all over again, every single time.

This is one couple whose moral values match up as closely to perfect as possible.

I definitely get this sense. This may even be half of the reason we find ourselves in the situation we do.

When together, they are totally focused on each other.

Which is exactly how we get into trouble.

When in bed with one another, the INFP and ENFJ both want the emotional connection that comes with being intimate with a person they love. In fact, this couple works well together in bed. When you combine the high energy levels of the ENFJ with the desire of the INFP to experience new things under the sheets with a partner they completely trust, the result is a couple that rarely has any sexual problems.

This sounds promising, lol.

And, for the record, I am interested in all kinds of new experiences under the sheets, so long as it's with you.

…an INFP male will spend time making plans and taking care of small details in order to please his ENFJ female partner.

Sounds like me, lol.

To build trust between them, the INFP and ENFJ talk, talk and talk some more about anything and everything that happens to be on their minds each day.

Oh, my god. That sounds like heaven on Earth to me. Seriously. I dream of talking to you… just talking to you, endlessly. I know I've said this before, but I'm saying it again because it's true: YES, the lust is ridiculously powerful, but if I were forced to choose between having sex with you and talking to you every single day for the rest of my life, there wouldn't even be any hesitation: Talk to you. I want to talk to you. Always.

Since these two like each other minutes after meeting…

It was instantaneous for me, my love.

Oh, dear. I dove faaaar deeper into this than I meant to, lol. Goodness.

So… did I get your type right? Did all of these things describe us? Are we really the unicorn of relationships?

🤷‍♂️

I suppose time will tell. And if I missed… well, it probably goes without saying, but… I love you, not some incorrect notion I might have of you. And that love can only grow the more I get to know you. I just can't see it happening otherwise.

Love you.

♒️